Four minutes until I can fart!
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
