i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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