I am puke
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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