Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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