Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Also, beer. Big fan.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize