Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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