He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
