Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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