We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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