Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
