After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
All I want is dick and wine.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize