At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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