1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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