His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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