She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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