so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Come on in and take your pants off
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
