You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
