my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
