so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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