You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize