..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
