I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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