Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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