I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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