I cannot find my penis.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
