I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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