im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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