In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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