Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany

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(917): i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany http://tfl.nu/9r3u

Replies (22) Good night (660) Bad night (2601)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.

(615): View more from Tennessee

That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right

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(513): Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner. (615): That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right http://tfl.nu/5ajr

Replies (15) Good night (2504) Bad night (649)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.

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(202): its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore. http://tfl.nu/f02f

Replies (30) Good night (4350) Bad night (1161)
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(323): View more from California

Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.

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(323): Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering. http://tfl.nu/bd5j

Replies (31) Good night (942) Bad night (3788)
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(631): View more from New York

i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.

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(631): i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to. http://tfl.nu/8bc1

Replies (6) Good night (4447) Bad night (678)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up

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(715): STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up http://tfl.nu/m2d3

Replies (78) Good night (1275) Bad night (5116)
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(207): View more from Maine

hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.

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(207): hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either. http://tfl.nu/vb3y

Replies (47) Good night (6455) Bad night (1721)
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(360): View more from Washington

The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off

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(360): The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off http://tfl.nu/wmpp

Replies (4) Good night (640) Bad night (1801)
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(909): View more from California

and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....

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(909): and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests".... http://tfl.nu/4e7u

Replies (7) Good night (3701) Bad night (973)
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(407): View more from Florida

Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.

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(407): Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore. http://tfl.nu/4mr1

Replies (23) Good night (2406) Bad night (1047)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.

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(570): I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended. http://tfl.nu/azds

Replies (1) Good night (989) Bad night (558)
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(925): View more from California

I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.

(480): View more from Arizona

I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.

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(925): I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist. (480): I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test. http://tfl.nu/pge5

Replies (2) Good night (1171) Bad night (500)
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(718): View more from New York

We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas

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(718): We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas http://tfl.nu/oj71

Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (371)
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(516): View more from New York

I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday

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(516): I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday http://tfl.nu/1b3a

Replies (1) Good night (471) Bad night (316)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.

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(816): Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less. http://tfl.nu/zrff

Replies (0) Good night (483) Bad night (271)

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