fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.