Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.

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  (313): We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure. http://tfl.nu/sjew
  Replies (0) Good night (1067) Bad night (739)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found

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  (314): I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found http://tfl.nu/6w2n
  Replies (0) Good night (730) Bad night (927)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.

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  (817): you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar. http://tfl.nu/9tne
  Replies (16) Good night (2990) Bad night (591)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.

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  (617): I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront. http://tfl.nu/9odf
  Replies (15) Good night (3693) Bad night (686)
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  (714): View more from California

  we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.

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  (714): we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180. http://tfl.nu/lfvw
  Replies (11) Good night (3893) Bad night (627)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to

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  (704): My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to http://tfl.nu/cyq1
  Replies (13) Good night (4855) Bad night (1070)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar

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  (732): Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar http://tfl.nu/9kou
  Replies (39) Good night (6426) Bad night (2875)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?

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  (908): Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body? http://tfl.nu/k849
  Replies (12) Good night (4052) Bad night (1097)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.

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  (404): I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit. http://tfl.nu/bfom
  Replies (5) Good night (1307) Bad night (2955)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking

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  (801): Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking http://tfl.nu/5hl3
  Replies (11) Good night (3937) Bad night (866)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?

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  (416): Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it? http://tfl.nu/zi0h
  Replies (6) Good night (3679) Bad night (1061)
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  (760): View more from California

  all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.

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  (760): all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing. http://tfl.nu/78qs
  Replies (6) Good night (1890) Bad night (591)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.

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  (410): The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager. http://tfl.nu/3fqc
  Replies (8) Good night (669) Bad night (1866)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other

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  (614): Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other http://tfl.nu/gfjj
  Replies (2) Good night (831) Bad night (328)
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  (607): View more from New York

  U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl

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  (607): U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl http://tfl.nu/xeyc
  Replies (9) Good night (363) Bad night (1495)

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