Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."

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(517): They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what." http://tfl.nu/ufo0

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(310): View more from California

I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work

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(310 ): I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work http://tfl.nu/s1zl

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!

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(504): I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed! http://tfl.nu/xwtw

Replies (26) Good night (3549) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.

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(617): I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while. http://tfl.nu/clpn

Replies (15) Good night (4312) Bad night (1191) Order T-Shirt
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(727): View more from Florida

she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex

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(727): she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex http://tfl.nu/jq0b

Replies (12) Good night (7513) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
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(804): View more from Virginia

They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.

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(804): They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones. http://tfl.nu/bfce

Replies (18) Good night (892) Bad night (4306) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".

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(603): Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight". http://tfl.nu/suji

Replies (5) Good night (4033) Bad night (1133) Order T-Shirt
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(785): View more from Kansas

for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.

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(785): for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless. http://tfl.nu/zt1g

Replies (12) Good night (3133) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
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(907): View more from Alaska

You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you

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(907): You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you http://tfl.nu/r2n8

Replies (8) Good night (2427) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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(773): View more from Illinois

No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.

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(773): No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape. http://tfl.nu/zpzm

Replies (6) Good night (2650) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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(810): View more from Michigan

She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.

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(810): She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself. http://tfl.nu/zfk0

Replies (10) Good night (937) Bad night (2550)
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(281): View more from Texas

Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning

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(281): Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning http://tfl.nu/3d0d

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(517): View more from Michigan

I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle

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(517): I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle http://tfl.nu/r9wf

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(540): View more from Virginia

I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.

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(540): I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day. http://tfl.nu/r0vt

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(423): View more from Tennessee

hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.

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(423): hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT. http://tfl.nu/qhme

Replies (5) Good night (1361) Bad night (198) Order T-Shirt

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