I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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