i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
