If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My bed smells like the plague
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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