So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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