I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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