Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize