Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
