dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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