I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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