You can't motorboat a personality
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
