If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
