And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
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Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
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I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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