I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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