lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
