so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
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The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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