Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
