Michael Bay diarrhea
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
