She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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