I feel like I'm in dance class right now
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
