thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize