I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Randomize
