Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
