I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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