it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
