Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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