his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
