bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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