no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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