You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
