I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
