party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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